Image: The Heading new
Hello All You Rhondda Records Fans...
This Is Our Unique Problem Page....
Please Read On!
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
Do you have any advice
for the people in Iceland?
Yours, worried,
Daphne Orlgonne
Dear Mrs Orlgonne,
Yes - wrap up.
Yours,
Dr Ca ca.
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
Do you know how to make
Pontefract cake tout stuff a la spaniel....?
Deirdrie Smelly, Luton.
Dear M,
Take a Pontefract cake, stuff
it - and give it to the spaniel.
Your friend,
Doctor Ca ca
Dear Doctor Ca ca
Do you know why God
loves you....? You're not just a useless pawn.....
When will the world LISTEN to what's in their hearts?
Sincerely,
Gordon Pullitt.
Dear Mr Pullitt,
When you send the God-forsaken
racing blinking s*d*ing cheque, mate.
Yours Sincerely,
Sh. F. Ca ca
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
What do you call
that place that really desperate, washed
up alcoholics go to?
Arnold Molecule
Dear Arnold,
The pub.
Doctor Ca ca
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
I wish I knew how to please your greater desire...
Is there a way for us to meet ?
Yours Sincerely,
Phil A. Boggrole,
Dear Mr Boggrole,
I prefer fish....
and you're a queer one, and no mistake.
Up Yours,
"Doc" Ca ca
Darling Doctor Ca ca,
May I, please, BEG YOU to allow
me to open my lips, and successfully take it
on myself to informally praise the stiffness
of your efforts to change the letters on this page?
Pumping and pouting for it,
Your comely...
Fondly Slapps.
Dear Fondly,
Yes. You're a GOOD girl.
A sexy girl... aren't you? Dirty girl.
Letting me put my riposte here !
Dr Ca ca.
Dear Dr Ca ca,
Je promise d'win dysgu bon garcon, au jour d'wi.
Iesus est mon freund. Plis post le YLPAN cwrs !
R. Ffrawed.
Randy,
You are still carnal !
I can SMELL it...
have a cold bath...
guten Morgan !
Dr "d'wyn dysgu cwmraeg" Ca ca
Dear Dad,
Please contact me,
the vicar says I've learnt enough -
of pain - and need to forgive and heal...
Please reply soon !
Your last remaining child,
Maureen Ca ca.
Dear Maureen,
Vicar? !
You still haven't sent any money.
Stop mixing with riff-raff and send
me some money. Try the collection plate;
or are you still that tight-fisted miserly
mean spirited little Ca ca I knew when you were a month?
Sincerely,
Doctor S. F. Ca ca
(the "Family Friend")
Dear Doc' Ca ca,
Pat's gone away again....
I pray for her wellbeing...
Can I do ANYTHING to let her know
everything's really all right?
Anonymous.
Dear Ray,
Haar haar HAAR !!!
Lovingly,
"Doc" Ca ca
Dear Doctor,
I've got this enormous Indian man
glued to the side of my head,
should I be upset?
Mr Slitt Fingerittwett.
Dear Mr Fingerittwet,
There's absolutely nothing to
worry about...
it's just a fakir.
Be patient, and he'll soon disappear up
his own rope trick.
Doctor Ca ca,
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
PLEASHE pleeeashe
pleeeeeeashe releashe my sCheeD?
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeashe,
Zsha Zsha
Dear Zsa Zsa,
Beg !!!
Shinsherely,
Shady Ca ca.
Dr Ca ca,
I have funny shaped balls.
Am I a bit of a flanker ?
Lord Perfect
Dear Lord,
No. You're a rugby player...
aren't you !
Yours Sincerely,
Doctor Shit-Fface Ca ca
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
Yes.
Lord Perfect.
Dr. Ca ca, Hi !
I've been sending you money
regularly...
please answer the question -
Why, every time I hear the word "Stretch",
do I become so terribly wet and excited.
Can you recommend treatment?
Jenny Masher.
Dear Ms Masher,
Sh !!
Send bigger cheques !
Stretch
Stretch
Stretch
Stretch...
Dr Ca ca
Dr. Ca ca,
I've been sending you cheques
for fifty three years, now, and still,
my arm is missing.
Are you certain that you can regrow it THIS time?
Timothy Barnowl,
Cardiff.
Dear Ms Scott,
It's a matter of a pinion.... Look - if you don't trust me -
after fifty three years - shame on you...
watch it - or it'll be glove off time.
Doctor Ca ca.(HND failed)
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
How can I persuade my girlfriend
to have oral sex ?
Sincerely,
Ivor Sigarre.
Dear Ivor,
hold her nose,
or wash more regularly.
Yours ,
Dr Ca ca.
Dear Doc,
I don't have any friends.
Can you help?
Sincerely,
Sligo Crepe.
Dear Mr Crepe,
Become like me...
Burgle people ....and spit in their breadbins.
Docktur Ca ca .
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
Whitchurch treatment centre awaits !
Mr Paul Elephant-Legges.
Dear Paulsy,
I'm not mad.
Just slightly irritated.
Ca ca the sanity clause.
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
I kept rubbed my bosoms as you suggested...
and now my nipples are twentythree inches long,
Will they go pop?
Answer me !
Shirley Wobble
Dear Shirley,
No, they'll go pap.
Your bosom pal...
Doctor Sh. F. Ca ca.
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
What has Rhondda Records ever achieved?
Sincerely,
F. K. U. Pugh.
Dear little Poo,
An interview with Mick Tems?
Genuinely,
Professor Ca ca. (M.A. Trallwyn)
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
THAT wasn't a SERIOUS letter!
Give us a serious one, please,
please, please, please!
Aaaaw... PLEASE let us
have a serious letter!!!
Please please please please please
please PLEASE please PLEASE PLEASE
PLEASE?
aAAW.... GO ON....please?!
PLEA --- EA -- SE !!!!!!!
Sincerely, Rudolph Floode-Barrier.
Dear Rudie,
Not if you ask me the same
thing for weeks or months... or even years.
Sincerely,
Sh. F. Ca ca
Dear Doctor,
What would you do
if - like me - you were nearly dead ?
Sincerely,
Mrs Flange-Liverylips.
Dear Madam,
Keep going.
Your old Friend,
Doc Ca ca
"Doctor" Ca ca,
I'm sending you a CD. Who's your favourite artist?
Sincerely, Sallivor Bluk.
Dear Ms Bluk,
Cash.
Dr. Ca ca,
(B. P. Sc., Mountain Ash.)
Dear Dr Ca ca,
Can you stop nuisance phone calls?
Verrilly Shite-arss.
Yes... shout out the window instead !!!
Doctor Ca ca.
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
Matron wants to give me colonic irrigation...
How can I stop her?
Yours,
Ivor Big'un
Dear Ivor,
Tell her there's a hosepipe ban.
Sincerely,
Sh. F. Ca ca
Dear Doctor Ca ca,
I follow your little kindnesses...
all the good work you do for the community...
thank you so much.
Sincerely,
Albert Ponce.
Dear Ponce,
Could you stick your tongue up
just a little bit further?
Aaaah.... perfect !
What was the question?
extremely very,
Doctor Ca ca.
Dear Doctor,
This Problem Page is a vile
sickening load of sexual filth!
Yours Sincerely,
Gerbil Weed-Agenne.
Dear Gerbil,
Thank you.
Doc Ca ca
P.S.
Slipped that in nicely, didn't I !
Other pages:
This is the text-only version of this page. Click here to see this page with graphics.
Edit this page |
Manage website
Make Your Own Website: 2-Minute-Website.com